The Prayer Letter - Part 1

This morning when I sat down to write in my journal, I started out my journal entry as a prayer to the Father about my struggles. But as I wrote my prayer, it turned more into a reflection of my spiritual life presently as a Protestant Christian, and I expressed my needs as someone who feels like they are stuck in a ruck, unable to move in any direction. And since it pertains to Orthodoxy, I thought it would be good to share this to anyone willing to read of my experiences.

I started out writing of how badly I serve God. And how at this moment, I find it even harder now to serve him as I am unable to reconcile the differences of Orthodoxy and of the faith I am presently in. It's almost like I am being pulled from both sides; almost like a struggle, a hindrance to serving God with my whole heart, to which I also must confess, I don't think I have ever served God in truth and in spirit because unfortunately for me, without realizing it, it has always been about appearances and doing the minimum to get by.

As I continued in writing, I started to think about how there are so many dangerous things about my current situation. The first thing I'd like to touch is that of confession. I don't truly confess my sins, not to God, or anyone. It's a habit that I never really formed. When I pray, I utter at the end of almost all prayers, "forgive me of my sins", and somehow expect that to be enough; some form of a magic formula that cleanses me. When I think about it, I realize that I don't genuinely repent of my sins, nor am I held accountable by anyone. On a side note: Sure, I have my parents to hold me accountable for certain things that I do, but what about the things that I don't confess and keep inside me?

I think about the sacrament of confession in the Orthodox Church, and how even though certain Protestant groups protest of its function and criticize it as unbiblical, it makes me wonder with what regularity do ministers implore the members of their congregation to confess and repent of their sins on a daily basis? How often do ministers preach in their sermons about humility before the Lord, contriteness, repentance, and confession as something that must be continual and not a one-time thing?

Paul said, "Confess your sins to one another." Protestants would be quick to point out that it says to one another, not a priest. But my question is do these same people who protest of such practice of continual confession of sins to priests even make it a practice to confess their own sins to anyone at all? At least there is a safeguard in the Orthodox Church that encourages continual confession and repentance.    

To be continued...